The Re-Descovery Of Me.

I had my first Kidlett at the ripe old age of 23. In Mormon world, or Utah, that is considered about avergae if not on the old side ( Yes I am Mormon ). Anywhere else in the United States that is considered just plain stupid. I Know this because I am a Virginian, I did not grow up in Utah and when I got engaged at 22 the first thing all of my non Mormon friends asked me was " Oh my gosh are you pregnant?" To which I patiently responded numerous times " When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody you want the rest of your life to start right now" .... I am not even sure if that is how the line goes from " When Harry Met Sally" but you get my jist.

















Back to my point, I got married young, and had my sweet Logan young. Having a child and being married at 23 was a big thing, I didn't even know how big of a deal it was back then, only now as I look back am I amazed that I started so young. When I was a new mom just starting out everything I did, everything I thought, was about or for the baby. In the car we listened to kid music, at home we listened to kid music, read kid books, ate kid friendly food, kept house like a mad woman, not a speck of dirt anywhere, most of my conversations were based on or around my little kidlett. With my second and third child I continued this habit, and before I knew I turned around and realized everything that was unique and wonderful about me was no longer present. I couldn't tell you the last time I had read a book for myself, or the last time I shopped for clothes in the style I love rather than what I thought mothers should wear. Listening to my kind of music? Unheard of. What happened to the carefree girl who blasted the Beatles with the windows open as she cleaned her clean-yet-pleasantly-lived-in and slightly cluttered home? What happened to the girl who loved wearing dresses and flip flops all summer long? what happened to the girl who laughed all of the time, who liked sitting at home on a Friday night with my sweetie and some treats and watching a movie? ( OK we still did that, but it was because it was all we could do with kids, it is different when you have no choice right?) I think you get my point. I was now a mother, and in the midst of this I was no longer Michelle.









we all change when we become mommies, and that is not a bad thing. But what is too much? Is there a set line that once you cross it you are no longer yourself? Can't we change from Motherless women to full blown Mothers without giving up those things that made us us?





A Year or so ago I was out and about and saw a dress I loved, I thought " I totally would have worn that before I had kids" the thought stopped me short. why did having kids matter? It was still a flattering style I knew I could pull it off, why didn't I wear what I loved? It hit me that I had stopped dressing the way I loved because I was to busy dressing my kids. Once the gates were open the realizations just wouldn't stop..... " I don't eat the food I like anymore, I don't read the books I like anymore, I don't dress the way I like anymore,I don't listen to music I like anymore, I don't keep my house the way I loved keeping it anymore."





I HAD HAD AN EPIPHANY!





I felt like a new woman, I started pulling things out of my closet I used to love that I hadn't worn in forever because it was different than what other moms wore, I started listening to my music in the car ( P.s my kids are now in love with classic rock, way better than the Wiggles I must say ). I started relaxing on the housework and letting my home feel comfortable and lived in. I started reading books for my enjoyment. In other words,





I RECLAIMED MYSELF.





The other day my sister said " I like what your wearing, you have been looking and acting more like the old Michelle lately, It suits you better, Its nice to have you back "





It is nice to have me back! A new and improved me, a me that is a mother and wife first, but still me. I realized the greatest gift I could give my family is to raise them and love them but to do it in my way. Michelle's way. I don't need to be a Stepford mom. I need to be me. Whats wrong with that?


Absolutely nothing


I'm starting to think that this is how all the successful happy mothers do it, by doing it their own way with their own personalities, and not apologizing or feeling bad for letting their freak flag fly ( everyone has one, don't deny it, even if what makes you a freak is simply that you are absolutely normal, never fear, that makes you a freak)

I was a young married mom, and now I am a middle aged married mom. And it has taken me this long to rediscover and re-fall in love with myself

My kids now know and love the real me, and I couldn't ask for anything more satisfying.

And I cant help but wonder if all those mothers who are struggling out there just need a little re-discovery?

Daddy Daughter Date

Daddy Daughter dates are the best. It is such an wasy way to show your daughters early on how she should expect to be treated by the future men in her life. Don Juan is such a gentleman to her and I am hoping as long as he keeps it up she will accept nothing else from future relationships

However, if you ask Don she will not be having any future realtionships......We are surely going to have to work on that :)

and yes that is a flower in her hand, Don Juan knows how to charm the ladies

Chi Town!

Dear 15 year Old LifeGuard you are my Hero

Dear 15 year Old Lifeguard,
You are my Hero. thank you for being great at your job. thank you for seeing a little blond boy running toward the deep end of the pool and then stepping in thinking it was the baby pool. thank you for blowing that whistle and jumping in as said blond boy flails for his life, while his mommy ( who saw the whole thing go down ) ran as fast as she could but was not fast enough. thank you for grabbing little tyke and getting him out of the water in less than 3 seconds from impact. You are my hero. You made a difference in our lives, for that we will always be grateful.
Thank You

Never Stay In Bingham Illinois, at the Howard Johnson Hotel to be Exact.

We are back! The time away was fun and very much appreciated. 4 nights away from everything was just what the doctor ordered ( doctor meaning me, ordered meaning I threatened a mommy meltdown if I didn't get away on trip).

Day 1

I flew into Chicago Wednesday night, Don Juan picked me up, then we started on our 4 hour drive to Nauvoo. Stayed in the grossest hotel I have ever seen because the hotel we booked overbooked the rooms. Boo It was nasty, If I die of some random disgusting disease I want it documented here that I think I acquired it at the Howard Johnson in Bingham Illinois.

After we checked out of the dump we drove to Carthage Jail ( where the prophet Joseph Smith was martyred) I am glad I went but at the same time it was quite depressing and I never need to go again.

Then we drove down to Nauvoo and just walked around. It was the cutest tiniest little town I had ever seen. We went to an old book store, an,antique shop, ate at a tiny little diner, watched some fudge being made, visited the church sights, Saw the Nauvoo Temple.....and much more.

At 7:00 pm a fair was put on by the volunteers at the Nauvoo pageant, There was old time dancing, games, sack races, stick pulls, Stilts, tug of war, you name it they had it.

This fair was the highlight of our trip. There were hundreds of teenagers there dressed in 1830 costumes running the fair. These kids were not texting , they weren't playing video games or watching T.V. they were outside in 115 degree weather in hot clothes running these fair games with their families. It was so uplifting to see. Don and I couldn't stop smiling, These families come out for this pageant for two weeks and just volunteer and participate in the pageant. No matter what religion you are apart of ( or no religion at all ) you could appreciate the Family love and togetherness that this experience gives these families. It was wonderful. I am sure at first many of these kids were complaining and just being horrible, but when we saw them, by the end of their two weeks you couldn't find one youth who was not having the time of their life. It was Awesome. Once our kidletts get a tad older we are definitely going to get our tushes down there to volunteer as a family.

Then we saw the pageant which was fun, then we drove to our ( new and clean) hotel in an electric storm. Jumped into bed by 1:30 Am and crashed, knowing that the next two days we were going to be Chicago bound!

Garter Belts

Should I be worried about this? What is a mother to do when her 7 year old son catches the garter at his uncles wedding? Should I have taken it away? Should I have refused to let him jump in the circle of single guys? Should I have made a big deal of this?

Well I didnt....

I didnt even flinch when he put that garter on his head like a headband.

Will I regret this later on in life?

To this I say Most likely not

This is why I Call Him Don Juan DeMarkland

Ever wonder why I call Don, Don Juan? Well it comes from a little movie from the 90's called

" Don Juan DeMarco"

It was a movie with Johnny Depp as this man who is a master at loving and seducing women ( he looks pretty good while doing it i must say)

Alas My Sweetie Don has been nicknamed, Don Juan DeMarkland.

It fits him perfectly.

As I was cleaning out my nightstand I found all of these love letters from Don Juan DeMarkland this past year.

They are the sweetest notes ever and whenever I have a bad day I can read them and know that Don Juan loves me.

So Kidletts this is now for you

Logan and Jude

Always always write your wife love letters, no matter how unsentimental she is ( hello, have you met me? ) she will love them, and she will always know you love her. plus, she will think you are a master at loving and seducing her, which is always a good thing for a wife to think of her hubby no? You are lucky your Daddy is Don Juan and he is also a master, so you can learn from the best

p.s I only condone this behavior once you are grown and married, I don't need phone calls from angry moms that you in elementary school have been trying to seduce their daughters, are we clear?

Kennedy

Always tell your spouse how you liked to be loved. When Don Juan and I were first together we both had to figure out how the other one likes to be loved. I had a tendency to show love towards him the way I wanted to be loved. And he had a tendency to show love to me the way he liked to be loved. Well these were completely wrong and neither one of us felt loved. So we talked about it and we continue to talk about it so we are clear on how we can make the other one feel good.

So, Kennedy don't be afraid to tell your hubby how you like to be loved. trust me, it will relieve alot of unneeded stress. If you want love letters, dang it, you deserve it..... just tell him so don't expect him to read your mind, I am sure he will be more than happy to oblige.

And Kidletts, all my love letters from your daddy are in the green and red reindeer Christmas box in my closet. Feel free to read them anytime you want but just a warning.... they will probably embarrass you......... They are quite mushy

Shake it Jude, Shake it.

Jude knows how to shake it! This was his signature move all night, all night I tell you. I must say it did attract quite a few ladies. Who could resist themselves with Such a hottie doing such sweet moves?

It kind of made our night

Ahh Memories Of a Wedding

Just a few wedding pictures. I have a ton more that deserve their own posts....So while I am in Chicago this week I am going to be having a Wedding picture Posting bonanza!

( i know I know, its a little much, ok maybe I will just post Wedding pictures a few days....We will see)

The Time Has Come

Im a little busy today. I am at this very moment either watching this or thinking about when I get to watch this later.

Have fun seeing it yourself!

Flash Mob Wedding Style

You didnt expect the Marklands to let one of them get married with doing something crazy did you?

Don Juans family (including DonJuan and my little Logan)

What Dreams May Come.........

What do you do when you have an emotional night followed by crazy weird stressful dreams? I am not sure but lets just start at the beginning shall we?





It started with me being an awesome wife and decided to go outside and spray all of our weeds along the side of our house that Don Juan was going to have to do when he got home from his church stuff.






That little chore was interrupted by witnessing an incident with a neighbor family that threw me for a whirl....... I was unsure how to respond or if I should have respond at all and instead I just stood there and cried. Good thing I was rocking my Jackie O. Sunglasses so no one could tell. I am still unsure of what I should do if anything. No more details about that.... just a tad too private.





next, Mr. Campbell ( I will use only last names to protect the innocent ) drove by and stopped to chat. at the end of our chat he said, oh by the way, Don Juan got popped in the nose at church tonight so he is going to be hurting. I laughed thinking oh well that's Don he gets hurt all the time


I kept on weeding honestly not really thinking about Don Juan my mind was elsewhere ( elsewhere being the Family situation I witnessed) and then my friend Mrs. Cochran drove by and said " Hey I'm about to ruin your night, I am pretty sure Don broke his nose"

" NO Way, its that bad?"

" Yep its bad"


GREAT


Before she drove off I proceeded to shame her for getting free tickets to see Harry Potter on Saturday when she hasn't even see any of the other movies, or read the books. Gross right? some things in life are just not fair. I told her that it will be a tragedy if she sees this movie without knowing whats going on so of course she borrowed mine and I told her she has to watch them all before Saturday, and then when she has a little more time she can borrow my books,, I know I know I am a great neighbor :) ( I don't know if you can tell I am a tad jealous seeing as I was not able to get into that private screening of the movie) anyway, as she drove off I thought about Don at church with gauze stuffed up his nostrils bleeding uncontrollably. No way he is that hurt or her would have come home, therefore I went about my business dwelling on what I had seen.


20 minutes pass and my sweet Friend Mrs. Alexander comes by I thought to see if I wanted to take a walk, I told her Don wasn't home yet and she said she knew and wanted to know if I had spoken to him.


" nope why? is it the nose thing? is it really that bad? "


" Yep Mr. Alexander saw it, it was bad, I brought him this banana bread"



Oh Dang when the Mormon women are bringing over food you know its bad...

So I go inside and Don Juan finally makes an appearance. He didn't look bad. I mean his nose was only 3 times its normal size and it was gushing blood. So we skyped the pops he told us what to do for the night then we gave him some pain med and put him to sleep



I fell asleep and my stress continued


I dreamt I bought a portable shower, the portable shower was the size of a microwave. I had to take a shower in my hotel room in my portable shower so I could be ready in time for Don Juan to be baptized. I was quite stressed about how I was going to fit my body in that shower but I was being forced to do it. On the plus side when I looked in the mirror I was Hot! I looked like I did pre-baby. It was the only good thing about that dream. I then decided not to shower and I walked out of my hotel room into my living room ,Don Juan and his mom were in there making a huge mess in the room I just cleaned. I was not happy, so I went back to my room and tried to figure out how I was going to fit in that shower. This cycle went on and on and on until I finally woke up around 6:00 am. Any dream interperters out there? what does this random dream mean?

overwhelming night topped by an overwhelming dream. 7 days until we fly away to our getaway.

p.s X-ray was done today and yes his nogen is broken and he should be getting a few back eyes in the next couple of days.

Ultimate Frisbee can be Deadly.... Ok Or Maybe Just Dangerous

Have I mentioned that Don Juan is the clumsiest klutziest person alive? Besides his mother of course, that is where he gets it from. they are two pees in a pod

Take a look at Don Juans broken nose, Playing ultimate frisby with a bunch of youth from our church can be a dangerous thing, at least if your name is Don Markland.
We are keeping the doctors in business over here.

hmmmmm.

Summer Summer Summer Time!

We are busy having a fun summer week. ( meaning, playing in the sprinkler, drinking lemonade, riding bikes you know the good stuff.)

today I have to do all the laundry I have been avoiding....oh yeah and the bathrooms, and the floors..... my house is pretty much disgusting OK?

on a good note Don Juan and I leave next week for our anniversary trip.

a big Gracias to Joe and Rayma for watching the brood of kidletts. It is going to be rad.

Chicago here we come!

Patrick Swayze is a Tall Glass of Water

We had a big sleepover at Don Juans parents house this weekend. Supposed to be a camp out in the backyard but the weather was on my side and we were not able to sleep outside, Thank you weather Gods. So we played games and had some laughs, The laughs were so great that I did bust out with my Olson Snort quite a few times. most of the jokes you had to be there for but I will document a few gems We found especially amusing

Said by Jay ( Don Juans brother ) about the fact that Logan wrote down " The Poke" instead of
"The Pope" in a game . P.s this joke is a little risky so if you have sensitive souls you might want to skip this joke.

The Poke....... That's what they call him in SOME circles

Said By Don Juan about the freaky part in Ghost when Demi Moore dances with Whoopi Goldberg who we are supposed to believe feels to her like Patrick Swayze just because her eyes are closed.( bad description but you all know what I am talking about right?)


Whatever,That Tall glass of water wouldn't be with Whoopi Goldberg, that is just wrong....... What? Patrick swayze is a very attractive man.....

There was also just a little bit of mocking Grandpa Joe about the joke he used in his sons Wedding ceremony the previous day ( he married Clint and Candace sweet huh?)

"If you want guarantees marry a toaster........."

Awkward silence followed that joke and leave it to the Markland boys to bring it up and mock their dad relentlessly about the tiny lapse in judgement.

Who could not pee their pants in the company of these guys? I am pretty sure i married inot the best family of all time ( in spite of the fact that they love to camp)

Harry Potter is What?

Lots of good things came about in the Markland household this week

And one really bad thing

1. We think we found a major contributing factor in Judes little behavior problems, we made some adjustments and BAM he is behaving like the well mannered child I knew was hiding in that adorable little body

2. Had a little discussion with Logan about hygiene and keeping himself and his room clean , and so far so good.

3. I finally got Don Juan out of his School/work/church brain mush last night by initiating a very intelligent uplifting discussion about how awesome and hot of a wife I am ( OK maybe this one isn't true, but he did come out of his brain mush last night)

5. I finally convinced Kennedy it is much cuter to just have one color on her nails rather than every finger a different color of the rainbow.

6. found a bunch of Logans old clothes in the basement in almost perfect condition that I forgot we had, and they are Judes size! woot woot! poor kid has never worn new clothes. such is life.

Really Bad Thing

1. Harry Potter Midnight show is sold out, so we might have to wait until 8 the next morning to see what looks like the coolest movie of all time. I don't know how to break the news to Don Juan it is going to crush his spirit, I have failed as a wife, I should have gotten tickets months ago

Big Wedding this Weekend, so Ta Ta until Monday!

Behind The Scenes of a Markland Family Photo Shoot

I loved watching Don Juan playing around with his brothers, Its rare for them all to be together. it was sweet, I almost cried,

que cheesy music....

Ahh fun times.

Hooray for Clint!

Big week for Uncle Clint, Birthday today, and then his wedding on Saturday. Kennedy is in love with her Uncle Clint and thankfully she loves Candace ( his fiance ) also, otherwise we would have had some fatal attraction thing going on. Kennedy is finally ok with not marrying Clint herself ( so she says we will see on Saturday)

Congrats Clint and Candace!

We love you guys

Retraction Of My Previous Post

Don Juan wants me to print a retraction of my previous post about the whole Macbeth, Hamlet nonsense. He doesn't want you kidletts to think he lost the argument, he believes he brought up very good points and actually feels as though he won.

But Kidletts let me assure you don Juan did not win

and I refuse to print a retraction because years from now I want you kidletts to know the truth.

I won this disagreement.

There is no question about it.

So sweetheart this is as good as a retraction as your going to get

I love you

:)

Free Dinner for Kids!

Hello Chilis, you are my new best friend!

click this picture, print it out and get your kids some free dinner tomorrow night!

its good at any participating chilis not just utah.

Your welcome for making tomoorrows dinner planning oh so easy!

Happy 4th Of July

Awesome and Not so Awesome 4th of July Moments

1. Slip n Slide was a hit! Awesome

Getting Kids off Slip n Slide not so awesome

2. Having Grandpa Joe and Grandma Rayma come over for the festivities was Awesome.

Me losing bad to them in a little card game named golf, Not so awesome

3. Food Food Food! Awesome

Food Food Food! Not awesome, I ate too much

4. New Legal Ariel fireworks! Awesome! the nieghborhood was lit up!

Jude burning his tiny finger on a sparkler, not awesome

5. The Alexanders coming to watch fireworks with us! Awesome

Cant think of any thing not awesome with that one sorry.

6. Don Juan, Logan, and Kennedy going to cheer Joe and Rayma on at the 5k. Awesome

Me having to stay home because Jude was sound asleep, not Awesome

All the awesomes outweigh the not so awesomes I must say so overall it was a hit.

Plus it was Don Juan and I 11 year dating anniversary.

Well, 11 years since he first put the moves on,

11 years with the same hottie, lets just say that.

We are quite lucky this Independance Day!

A Disagreement of Major Proportions..... Leading to a Very Scary Rendition of Macbeth

As I am sitting here getting ready to write about our disagreement of major proportions i am looking out my back door where you kidletts are playing in the sprinkler and I notice that Albie is eating flies. Poor flies didn't even see him coming. It reminded me of the song

" There was an Old Woman Who swalled a fly"

My Grandpa Pangburn used to sing that to me all the time. Good memories

Back to our Disagreement of major proportions

As Don Juan and I were chatting last night after all you kidletts were finally asleep, we somehow got on the subject of William Shakespeare,

We thought it was innocent enough, starting with Don Juan asking me

" If you were a high school English teacher and had to choose only two pieces of Shakespeare's work to teach what would they be?"

Michelle

" Uh, easy, " A Midsummer's Night Dream" and " Macbeth", isn't that what you would choose?"

Don

" No, I would choose Julius Ceaser and Hamlet "

That is when the disagreement commenced.

I being quite passionate about the subject threw out things like " That's why I would obviously be a better teacher", and maybe a little " That is the lamest argument I have ever heard", " I know I said " Midsummers is his best comedy and Macbeth is greatest tragedy, What better selection would there be to teach high school kids? it shows two plays on different ends of the spectrum" I of course came up with many more brilliant life changing arguments. Don Juan had nothing to say

Ok , that is a fib, he had a ton to say, Starting with this little gem.....

" Hamlet is the most heralded and most performed Shakespeare Play, that is why I would choose it. I then only heard

Whaaaaaa whaaaaaa, whaaaaaa, whaaaaa, whaaaaaa, whaaaaaaaa,whaaaaaaaa

Until He said

" They would be able to use Hamlet more in conversations with people because it is more well known, making for more interesting conversation"

My Response was quick

" Well that is exactly why I would choose Macbeth because it is less known so when your student is talking about Hamlet like everyone else, my student will be the one enlightening the room teaching all of your uninformed students about Macbeth. That to me makes a more interesting conversation than the one you proposed."

Don Juan had nothing,

he couldn't even get into his Julius Ceaser argument, ( which I am sure was lame) because he knew I had won.

Once, in 11 years of being together he had no rebuttal.

I am sure as I am writing this he is researching why He is right and tonight I am going to get hit with hard irrefutable evidence but until then

I won.

( we then watched a movie version of Macbeth with Patrick Stewart in it and I am pretty sure I peed my pants. Lady Macbeth was Legit. Scary beyond scary. We had to turn it off it was so creepy. Her scary face is embedded in my mind. And just to be clear I am pretty sure no one ever had to turn off Hamlet or Julius ceaser because it was too intense,,,,, I'm just saying......)